


Flash Mob I

by adroitstories



Series: The Adventures of Force Ghost Clones [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, clones are trans sometimes, flash mob, messing with vader au, trans OC, trans hardcase, trans tup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25211557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adroitstories/pseuds/adroitstories
Summary: Sometimes, just to mess with Darth Vader, the clones put on a show.
Relationships: 501st Legion & Anakin Skywalker, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & Anakin Skywalker
Series: The Adventures of Force Ghost Clones [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825171
Comments: 7
Kudos: 112





	Flash Mob I

**Author's Note:**

> Tup is genderfluid here--sometimes using she/hers, otherwise he/him, and maybe sometimes they/them. Hardcase is a woman, and so is another OC, Wicker.

Echo surveyed the hangar. Nearly a whole regiment was at attention, gleaming white duraplast making the gloomy hangar look full of life. Tup, Fives, Jesse, Hardcase, and other members of the 501st were scattered across the hangar, adding pale blue to the otherwise gray and black hangar. Tech joined them as well.

They watched the shuttle land, and Echo shouted to Tech across the hangar.

“You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be!”

The shuttle doors opened, and Tech turned on the speakers. As Darth Vader descended down the shuttle ramp, a lively and clearly situationally inappropriate song began to play. The nat-born technical officers blanched and reddened in equal force, and scrambled to find the cause of the disturbing music. They moved to stop it, shuddering, tears in their eyes as they realized they would probably pay for this mistake with their lives.

Tech could only laugh at them. They wouldn’t be able to find the issue for at least another ten minutes, while the loudest and most obnoxious song played over the loudspeakers.

YOUNG MAN, THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN, I SAID YOUNG MAN, PICK YOURSELF OFF THE GROUND—

Immediately, Fives began leading them in a flash mob. All of the clones began dancing, clapping and moving in rhythm.

I SAID YOUNG MAN ‘CAUSE YOU’RE IN A NEW TOWN, THERE’S NO NEED TO BE UNHAPPY—

The nat-born officers and troops cautiously looked around, clearly confused beyond all measure.

YOUNG MAN THERE’S A PLACE YOU CAN GO, I SAID YOUNG MAN WHEN YOU’RE SHORT ON YOUR DOUGH, YOU CAN STAY THERE AND I’M SURE YOU WILL FIND, MANY WAYS TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

Fives looked at Darth Vader, the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. Then all the clones joined in song.

“IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A!

IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A!”

Darth Vader stood still on the shuttle ramp, in shock. Jesse and Tup also grinned at Vader, light and mischief in their eyes.

“THEY HAVE EVERYTHING FOR YOUNG MEN TO ENJOY

YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH ALL THE BOYS

ITS FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A!”

“C’mon sir, join in!” Dogma shouted, shuffling and clapping to the rhythm. “It was your favorite!”

Darth Vader sighed, a long, exhausted sound. Just then, a very brave Imperial officer scurried up to the Sith Lord.

“My lord, we are working to find the cause of the disruption, but please, don’t let that interrupt you from inspecting the troops, sir.”

Darth Vader turned slowly to the trembling man. Fives would have felt sorry for the nat-born, if he wasn’t part of a genocidal regime intent on ruling the galaxy.

“Commander, end this insolence immediately, and I will _consider_ giving you a merciful exile,” Vader said. The officer gulped.

“Right away, sir,” and the officer ran to the technical offices.

Fives shook his head, laughing. “Oh, it’s Tech’s work, so he’s never going to be able to fix it. You know how brilliant Tech is,” he said.

“This has gone on long enough,” Vader said, trying desperately to ignore the music.

YOUNG MAN, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME

I SAID YOUNG MAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE

I SAID YOUNG MAN, YOU CAN MAKE REAL YOUR DREAMS

“Sorry, Vader, can’t hear you over how loud this music is!” Tup said, feigning hearing loss.

“Yeah, loosen up, Vader,” Jesse said. “Or you worried you have two mechanical feet?”

Vader immediately strode forward and headed up to the technical offices, his long cape flowing behind him.

BUT YOU’VE GOT TO KNOW THIS ONE THING

NO MAN DOES IT ALL BY HIMSELF

I SAID YOUNG MAN, PUT YOUR PRIDE ON THE SHELF

AND JUST GO THERE, TO THE YMCA

I’M SURE THEY CAN HELP YOU TODAY

When Vader entered the hangar control room, the officers present saluted. Tech just smirked at the Sith Lord. Vader growled at the clone, and set to work fixing the controls for the loudspeakers.

IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A

THEY HAVE EVERYTHING FOR YOUNG MEN TO ENJOY

YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH ALL THE BOYS

Finally, Vader found the control, and the song ended. He breathed a quick sigh of relief, before a parade of Force-ghost clone troopers came into the room. And they began to sing.

“IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A!” they all shouted in unison, and off-key. “IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE Y-M-C-A! YOU CAN GET YOURSELF CLEAN, YOU CAN HAVE A GOOD MEAL, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU FEEEEEEEEELLLL!”

Vader strode out of the room walking through Force-ghosts.

“Bit rude, there.”

“Hmph!”

“Ugh, really?”

“Does it feel cold when you do that?”

oOo

Tech grinned at Echo.  
  


“For sure this time?”

“Yes, for sure this time, what am I, a shiny?”

Echo rolled his eyes. “Fair, just had to make sure.”

Echo ran quickly over to Tup, Wicker, and Hardcase. “Okay, you girls are all set up.” He grinned. “You all look fantastic, by the way.”

Tup smiled. She and her sisters were dressed in black leotards and wearing nearly six-inch stilettos. A fun part of being a Force-ghost is that one could also change their appearance at will—so each woman had grown long hair. Hardcase and Wicker had decided to accentuate their chests, but Tup hadn’t opted for that. They all wore makeup, courtesy of Sterling, but their tattoos still stood out.

“Alright, when are we gonna do this?” she asked.

Echo looked at Tech, who motioned. “Two minutes,” he said, turning back to the three women.

“You still going to be our backup dancers?”

Echo scoffed. “We wouldn’t miss it. You know how the boys love to dress up.”

Hardcase laughed, a clear ringing sound. “We sure as hell do,” she chuckled.

“Alright then,” Echo bid them goodbye, for now. He took his place next to Fives and Jesse.

If they could hold their breath, they would have.

Soon enough, they heard the mechanical breathing of Darth Vader moving towards them. He was flanked by two stormtroopers. Echo nodded to Tech, and a song began to play over the hall’s loudspeakers.

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP

Tup, Hardcase, and Wicker began moving with the music.

Darth Vader stood still, and the troopers next to him stopped.

UP IN THE CLUB, WE JUST BROKE UP

I’M DOING MY OWN LITTLE THING

HE DECIDED TO DIP AND NOW YOU WANNA TRIP

‘CAUSE ANOTHER ONE NOTICED ME

Echo shook his head, stifling his laughter. Tup, Wicker, and Hardcase were really good dancers, especially to this song. Fives didn’t even bother, laughing out loud at Vader’s expression.

I’M UP ON HIM, HE UP ON ME

DON’T PAY HIM ANY ATTENTION

JUST CRIED MY TEARS, FOR THREE GOOD YEARS

YOU CAN’T BE MAD AT ME

And that was their cue. Fives, Echo, Jesse, Dogma, and Appo joined in. Appo had a particularly hard time with learning the dance—but Fives had assured him that he could be a backup dancer. For a genetically engineered near-superhuman, Appo had a really hard time with the coordination. But he begged to be a part of this, and Fives didn’t have the heart to refuse him.

Tup, Wicker, and Hardcase though—they were amazing. Echo wished someone else besides Vader could see them—they were mesmerizing.  
  


‘CAUSE IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT

IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD’VE PUT A RING ON IT

DON’T BE MAD ONCE YOU SEE THAT HE WANT IT

IF YOU LIKED IT THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT

Vader cocked his head and heaved a long-suffering sigh. The troopers next to him stood at parade rest.

”Sir?” Vader’s commlink beeped. “Sir, we’re receiving reports of a disturbance in your area.”

”There is nothing here,” Vader replied, sounding long suffering and exhausted. 

“Very good sir.”

WHOA UH OH UH UH OH OH UH OH UH UH OH

WHOA UH OH UH UH OH OH UH OH UH UH OH  
  


Tup, Wicker, and Hardcase swayed their hips, spinning. Hardcase did a backflip and landed in the splits.

‘CAUSE IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT

IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD’VE PUT A RING ON IT

DON’T BE MAD ONCE YOU SEE THAT HE WANT IT

IF YOU LIKED IT THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT

Now Tup broke into her dance solo. Echo still couldn’t believe she could do that in heels.

I GOT GLOSS ON MY LIPS, A MAN ON MY HIPS

HOLD ME TIGHTER THAN MY ARMY JEANS

ACTING UP, DRINK IN MY CUP

CAN’T CARE LESS WHAT YOU THINK

I NEED NO PERMISSION, DID I MENTION

DON’T PAY HIM ANY ATTENTION

‘CAUSE YOU HAD YOUR TURN

AND NOW YOU GONNA LEARN

WHAT IT REALLY FEELS LIKE TO MISS ME

Now it was Hardcase’s and Wicker’s turn for a dance solo.

‘CAUSE IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT

IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD’VE PUT A RING ON IT

DON’T BE MAD ONCE YOU SEE THAT HE WANT IT

IF YOU LIKED IT THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT

The song ended there. Tup, Hardcase, and Wicker stood in their poses, chests heaving, sweat dripping down their foreheads. Fives, Echo, and Jesse simply ended with jazz hands, and Appo simply stood awkwardly to the side. Domga had ended in a dramatic dip.

The hallway was silent for a moment.

Then Darth Vader began to slow clap. “You have improved since your last performance,” he said. The troopers looked around, confused.

Tup grinned. “Oh, we know.”

Hardcase added, “We’ll be back for another performance later!”

“That is not—” Vader added as they all disappeared. He sighed.

**Author's Note:**

> No Mando'a in this one! 
> 
> However, here are the links to the dances they did: 
> 
> YMCA--https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k  
> I'm pretty sure that Fives is Victor Willis here, the frontman.
> 
> Single Ladies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY  
> Tup is Beyoncé, Wicker is the woman on the left, and Hardcase is the woman on the right.
> 
> as always, inspired by @its-captain-sir on tumblr’s messing with vader au


End file.
